I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
