If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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