so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize