I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
