margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
