Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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