anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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