he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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