ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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