So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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