I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it hurts more in the daytime
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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