We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
