Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
