"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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