And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
