Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sext me about skeletons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
