I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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