woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
