They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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