yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
