1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
