If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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