Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
