Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
