just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize