Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
