if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
