i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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