watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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