friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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