Don't you send me to vm
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
