she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
