I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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