Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
