That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
