Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
