Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You can't special order awesome
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
