Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wear drunk well.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
