You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
