elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
