some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
