Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
