bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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