he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
