I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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