Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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