yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
