i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
