He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
