He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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