I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
