Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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