You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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