Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
