when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
