why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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