Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
