u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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