Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
