I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
