my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
