How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize