you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
