I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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