Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
