Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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