if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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