i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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