Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
