remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
