u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize