Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
